May 5th, 2004

I've had it with these snakes.

a closed book

*sigh*

sometimes i wonder what my life would be like, it things had gone another way. am i happier now? maybe. yes. I don't know. Sometimes i feel better off for the way i deal with things...this pretending it was never a part of my life... ignorance is bliss, but what about the self-imposed variety? is that just self-denial? does it matter? i'm all mixed up emotionally, but the jury leans toward living the lie in my head. once you tell yourself everything will be alright enough times, you actually start to believe it. the lies build off eachother until you can't tell the difference and you trust them all. but the internalization doesn't make me a any less of a terrible person.
  • Current Music
    the wallflowers - "one headlight"