do you ever just feel disconnected? i just finished writing a paper and was feeling severly down at how miserable my grades are going to be (well, that part i'm still feeling) and majorly alone since all i've been working by is the light of my computer screen..and it's isolating...and for some reason I'm more alert now that when I was working on the essay. Then I notice that colin is still up. Holy crap. And he says Aaron's awake too. somehow that makes me feel more like a part of to the world again. haha.
I officially declared my major today: American Literature. And coming soon (tomorrow is my appointment) a minor in spanish (or rather, language studies with an emphasis in Spanish). It feels nice to have things planned out. I called my dad tonight and told him, expecting some kind of joyous parade in my honor...but his response was "why do you need to declare a minor?" and then, offhandedly, "sounds all good kim". I feel like when we talk, he doesn't understand anything I am saying. not because it's complex or anything. it just seems like we are on two different wave-lenghts. Maybe it's just that i don't talk to him that much any more (i try to call once a week, but sometimes i just get so wrapped up with everything). It makes me sad, i guess, to not feel close to my dad right now. he's all I have, you know? But part of me wants to be on my own...not that i haven't had all the independence I could ever dream of...it's just...i feel like i want to be done with school...done with this transitional period in my life. I decided that I'm going to move to san Francisco when i graduate. Hopefully attend the cal state up there and get my teaching credential. But instead of just being there to go to school, i really want to live there. Or at least, i want to try to live there. so yah. just stuff i'm thinking about.