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k i m b e r l y

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July 27th, 2003

(no subject) [Jul. 27th, 2003|11:42 pm]
k i m b e r l y
[I feel... |frustratedfrustrated]
[music... |every you every me, placebo]

ugh. Am disgusted at myself... I snapped at my dad tonight. An innocent bystander to my reckless frustration. See, I was going to go to luch with jamie tomorrow, which would be a nice get-to-know-you better sort of informal thing, but instead, there is a "beach day" thrown by the church (which no one is really likely to attend, i mean, everyone works), which i am now going to. I want to go to the beach, really, my once fabulous tan has not faded into nothing but a memory--but i just... i just know that i am going to feel so out of my comfort zone from 10am (yes, this shindig starts at 10AM) to 1p, IN A SWIM SUIT. Right, so that's got me ruffled up a little bit (contemplating how i always end up saying yes to things i don't want to do, and whatnot), and then a wrong number calls. It's this dude, sounding totally stoned, says "hey" to which i reply "who is this?" and he says, "me." *click* I hate people who don't get it. So then four seconds later he calls back, "hey, who is this" he asks me , as if it's not my house. I tell him my number, and he repeats it back. ugh. so I ask him who he's looking for, and he says "Patrick" and then this jerk has the nerve to say "but you sound kinda cute". omg. ugh. So i hang up and immidiately turn on my dad and ask "Why don't we have an answering machine? what happend ot the old one??" He offers a meeger "It broke", but of course, i can't just accept that, i snap back "it just stopped working?? we should fix it or get another one." AND THEN, I launch into our no-tv TV. Why doesn't it work? Is there a way to fix it? Is cable really that expensive? oi. Dad, being the awesome dad that he is, goes to play with the wires of the back of the tv, trying to get it to work. That's when I realize how stupid I am being, and tell him not to worry about it and that "i'm really tired, maybe will take a bath to relax"... as a way of apology. anyways, so I am stressed out over nothing, as usual. I mean, so i spend a day getting all sandy and (hopefully) a little sun. There are a lot worse things. I could have just dumped my surprisingly creepy boyfriend, or might have to get my jaw realigned, or could have a body oder like bolonga (mr-day-old-deli-sandwhich sat next to me in church today, ugh, very icky). As of this post, I am officially going to stop complaining, because it's true, sitting around all day reading is exactly how i would plan my ideal day. So what if it's the only thing i do... making up for lost time during the school year (and i mean, I am going to the beach tomorrow). At the very least, I am going to try really really really hard to not take my frustration out on undeserving people (woe be to you who actually deserves my bouts of anger)
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