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k i m b e r l y

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July 10th, 2003

blind-sighted [Jul. 10th, 2003|11:02 am]
k i m b e r l y
[I feel... |anxiousanxious]
[music... |Storm, by Blyss]

last week there was a fun-raiser for two mission trips that my church is going on this summer, so naturally me and my dad went not only to eat fine BJ's food, but to support our church. Rob, the college pastor, came over to say hi and steal some fries-- which was all well and good. My dad casually asks, "So who's going to Chile?" To which Rob laughs and says "How 'bout you?" indicating my dad, then "or you?" indicating me. For a split second it was a joke, but then the look in Rob's eyes flashes, like he's had a brilliant idea, and says "Kim, seriously, how about you?" I start to stammer something, anything to show what a rediculous idea that is, but there's no stopping Rob. He starts getting really excited, and tells me all the stuff we'd be doing, and that they're short on women going and that i really really should commit it to prayer. (all the while my dad is sitting across the table saying things like "kim you should go" or "she speaks spanish" or "Chile is a nice country"). For the rest of that dinner, I start to think that I could do this. That Chile is something I should do. But then I got home, and I remembered I hate being out of my comfort zone and doing things that stress me out. I had told Rob that I'd make it to wednesday night for sure (the college mid-week study)but by the time wednesday rolled around, I'd shrugged off the whole Chile thing, and the whole "active in church" thing. I went to see a movie.Then today, in a rare act of kindness, I picked up the phone when it rang. Now, I never do this. It's always a telemarketer. But today, I was in a good mood, so I picked it up. Somehwere in the back of my mind, I thought it'd be funny if it was actually someone for me.
It was jamie from church, calling about my interest in the Chile mission trip. ha. ha.
So now, I'm to make a chioce by today. I'm back in a perfectly lovely rut, so this trip is the last thing I want to do. But maybe that is why I should go. I'm not on any kind of spiritually-okay level...but maybe that is why God put this trip in my oh-so-unavoidable path. ugh. So that's what's going on with me. I wish I'd gone last night.
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for better or for worse... [Jul. 10th, 2003|07:50 pm]
k i m b e r l y
[I feel... |hopefulhopeful]

...i'm going.
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