April 13th, 2003

I've had it with these snakes.

Part of a balanced breakfast

I really hate how cereal commercials always advertise that it is part of a balanced breakfast. I mean, of course frosted flakes are going to be a healthy meal if you eat them with a glass of orange juice, pancakes, and strawberries in the bowl. If I made my own brand of cereal, I'd market it as part of an unbalanced breakfast; show pictures of happy kids scarfing it down next to doughnuts and chocolate bars (and of course, cola on the side). I mean, that's what kids really want, right? It might be hard to sell your average health-worried mom on the idea, so I'd throw in something for the parents too....like instead of finding a magic decoder ring or hot wheels toy (that the kids would enjoy), there'd be a prize for the parents... like.... free babbysitting vouchers, or supermaket cash, or, I dunno, power tools (guys are in to that, right?). .. I think it could work. I mean, in the end, all cereal is the same (unless it's speacial k or some other adult targeted product), 'casue honestly how good are Cocoa Puffs for you? Frosted Mini wheats? Cinnamon Toast Crunch? Sugar Smacks? And just becasue it's called Froot Loops, doesn't mean it has actual fruit in it... I mean, it's not even spelled the same way. Parents just need to be honest with themselves, they are NOT providing a balanced breakfast with cereal alone! Don't even bother pretending.
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